Aliens Threaten Los Angeles International Airport.

Today at LAX, the question of actual existence of UFO's was finally laid to rest. Landing unannounced on the south side of the airfield (the actual spaceship shown here), the three-headed, six-legged monster (fiendishly resembling the Kardashian Sisters and calling itself "V'Ger"), threatened the destruction of the entire airport if its demands for an extended, ten-year contract on “E Entertainment,” an unlimited supply of designer shoes, and free lifetime passes to In-N-Out Burger were not met.

TSA Los Angeles Bureau Chief, Horst Muleman, offered this brief statement: “We are unsure of what to do at this time, as we are not trained for this kind of alien invasion. Besides, the creature is not wearing any shoes.”