Thursday, July 31, 2008

Why We Love Jacked Up Photos.

Low light? Check. Wrong camera for the job? Check. Out of focus? Check. Car and fence in the way? Check. Could a second-grader with a disposable camera get a better shot than this? You betcha’.

Shot location: LAX

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Thank God For Digital. In the “Old Days,” This Would Have Been a Wasted Slide.

In our continued Double Secret Tribute to the old “Get Smart” television series, we bring you the latest in our “Missed it by that much” series of missed it by that much photographs.

Being a bit out of focus makes our staff proud of today's installment, as well.

Shot location: LGB

Monday, July 28, 2008

What The Camera Sees Is What You Get.

The day was awesome, the sunlight good, and the plane big and beautiful. So what went wrong? Nothing, if you love Totally Jacked Up Aircraft Photos.

Shot location: LAX

Sunday, July 27, 2008

There Is More To life Than Magazine Cover Photos.

Whatever turns you on can be completely satisfied by this pic. Whether aircraft behind fences gets you hot, street sweepers and GSE gets you wet, forklifts, cardboard boxes, dumpsters and trash gets you hard, or cluttered, gloomy skied photographs blow up your skirt, this scene says it all.

Something for everyone. We like that.

Shot location: LAX

Friday, July 25, 2008

A Few Months Ago, In a City Not Too Far Away…..

The twin setting suns of Tatooine? No, just another low light, out of focus, cheap camera, Totally Jacked Up Photo.

Jacked Up. Ummmmmm, good.

Shot location: LGB

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Image Stabilization? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Image Stabilization!

"OK, smile. This is going to be a great photograph to show your family what you do for a living."

Yeah, right.

Gotta' love those Jacked Up Photos.

Shot location: ONT (Photo by Brandon Weil)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Will Work For a Telephoto Lens.

Armed with our camera of choice, the awesome Canon A40, packing 2.0 MP of shooting power, our roving shutterbug managed to capture some of the pure, raw essence of aviation. Notice all of the brilliant summer colors, the gorgeous taxiway, and how he managed to get nowhere close to the Boeing B-17 flying by. We have no details on which particular plane it is (or why this photo was even taken), and that is just fine with us.

Enjoy the splendid Chino grass - The cows do.

Shot location: CNO

Monday, July 21, 2008

Way Too Much Airplane, Way Too Little Camera.

Greetings, loyal viewers (all three of you). The staff just returned from a small holiday and we decided that nothing says "Back in the saddle" like some Jacked Up Photos.

In today's double-header, we find one our mild-mannered staffers milling around the aerodrome way unprepared as usual. In the first pic, we see an aircraft running it up to full throttle for a few minutes to insure maximum dirt dispersal was accomplished. The second pic speaks for itself. This is what we live for on this site, for nothing captures the beauty of the AN-124 like a measly 2.0 MP camera.

We think that you would agree.

Shot location: LGB

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Staff Holiday. Enjoy Some B.R.T.'s Until We Get Back.

Shot location: RAL
Shot location: ONT
Shot location: RAL

Yes, enjoy the BIG ROUND THINGS until we return next week. See, in addition to all things aviation, our staff has a motorcycle racing fetish, thus we are off to Monterey, California for round 11 of the MotoGP World Championship.

We promise to Jack You Up when we get back into town.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Reach For The Skies?

They say in Show Business to never work with children or animals. You can also add aircraft photography to the list of things to not do with your kids. We don’t think that you need an explanation as to why.

Hey, at least the clouds are pretty.

Shot location: FRA (Photo by Nik French)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Art of The Jacked Up Photo.

This photo has absolutely nothing to do with airplanes, and is actually an architect’s wet dream. Look at all of the forms, angles and tons of concrete on those fine buildings. All of this industrial eroticism must have overwhelmed one of our roving staffers, as he cannot make up his mind whether to shoot a photo or take a pee.

You decide.

Shot location: PHX (Photo by Fred Seggie)

Monday, July 14, 2008

This Just in From Across The Pond. Tree Grabs 767!

This just in from our European correspondent (hey, we did not even know we had a European correspondent). Apparently due to the effects of global warming, trees in and around Manchester Airport (MAN) have become an unruly bunch due to massive amounts of free roaming CO2. This mayhem includes getting in the way of the dreaded perfect photo. This private 767-200 never had a chance.

Photo was taken today (07/14/08), which shows that our European office is lot faster than we are.

Shot location: MAN (Photo by Nik French)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Our Staff is Always On The Scene.

Sometimes the photo is not the only thing that is Jacked Up. Here you can clearly see one of our crack staffers using a cell phone camera to get (in our hopes) a Jacked Up Photo.

The pilot (on the right) brought this C210 in for a perfect landing after the nose gear failed to extend.

Shot location: LGB

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Out of This World - Literally

And outta' focus, too. This is what we love about aviation. Take a perfectly good World MD-11, tweak the focus just a bit out of whack, and viola! - Art.

Shot location: ONT

Friday, July 11, 2008

The True Meaning of No Frills?

Nothing says no frills like the last available seat on the departing local. Nothing says “Jacked Up Photo” like an underexposed, poorly lit, and out of focus pic.

The lengths we go to for the three loyal viewers of this site.

Shot location: ONT (Photo by Brandon Weil)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Jungle Jet Loses by a Nose.

As Maxwell Smart, Secret Agent 86 of Control used to say, “Missed it by that much.”

Shot location: LGB (Photo by Captain Carter)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Proof That Timing is Everything.

A beautiful sunny day at the airport - Wonderful. A gorgeous T-28 overhead on beautiful sunny day landing at airport- Awesome. Some knucklehead’s van blowin’ through your photo - Priceless.

Shot location: RAL

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

This Just in From Our W.T.F.? Department.

We could not think of any sensible, logical or realistic caption for this pic caught by one of our roving reporters. We think that alcohol may have been involved, and we are glad that the Grumman was safely in the hanger. Identities have been masked to protect the (possible) drunks.

If anyone can provide an explanation we surely welcome it. Till then, we will keep Dr. Phil on speed dial for situations like this.

Shot location: POC

Monday, July 7, 2008

You Are Now Getting Dizzy........

Stare at this shot long enough and you will get dizzy and go cross-eyed. This makes it our photo of the week (and it is only Monday).

Though this pic has some aviation value, we believe in the true art of shot composure (or lack-thereof for the purveyors of this site). There is a lot to look at here, from the beautiful color and scenery contrast, to the Southwest Boeing 737, to the brilliant clarity of the perimeter fence.

If we did not know any better (and we certainly don’t), we’d say the fence was the true subject of this photo.

Shot location: BUR

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Just Because The Sun Goes Down Doesn’t Mean Our Day is Done.

Nothing says “Um, Um, Good” like a night, underexposed and shaky photograph. We agree.

Shot location: ONT at O’Dark-Thirty in the morning.

Intended victim: Delta MD-90

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Who Said You Need an Expensive Camera to Screw Up a Photo.

This just in from our cell phone camera division. Who said that quality botched photos can only be had with a 40D. In our never ending hunt for the worst aircraft photos from around the block (from around the world would cost us too much), we bring you the Samsung U540 at its best. Cell phone cameras have distinct advantages over equipment costing thousands of dollars or more. Cell cameras are relatively cheap, are light, portable, and the pics can be shared with your friends immediately with no messy fuss with Photoshop or expensive slide processing. What's not to like?

Stay tuned for Totally Jacked Up Photos from our disposable camera division.

Shot location: LAX

Our Commitment to You.

Today’s addition shows just what our staff will go through in a feeble attempt to get the shot. Being that going through life stone-cold sober is a bore, our photo jock felt it was much better if he just laid down so “The airport would quit spinning.”

Shot location: VGT (Photo by Fred Seggie)

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy Fourth of July, America, and have a pole on us.

One of our favorites around here is when we try to get a shot of an interesting object and a plane fly’s through the shot, ruining it. Light poles are an important part of all of our communities, and while our ace photographer was out collecting shots for the 2009 calendar “Light Poles of the USA,” this darn Sun Country 737-800 flew through. At least the pole is in focus.

Shot location is LAX on way too early a morning. Coffee by It’s a Grind, transportation provided by Photo Unit 2 piloted by Captain Carter.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

And now we present.... Find the C-17 at Long Beach Airport (LGB)

The first presentation of Totally Jacked Up Aircraft Photos comes from one of our crack photographers that took a butter knife to a bazooka fight. Yes, when Boeing is out flight testing C-17's, nothing does a good a job of botching a photo like a 2.0 MP camera and way too much coffee. The other staff were shooting 6.0 and 10.0 MP images, but all that does is guarantee an excellent photo. Notice how brilliantly the photographer blew the focus and composition rendering this pic totally unusable for any so-called credible site. But not us. We love this kind of thing, and will go to the ends of the earth to find all of the botched photos that we can get.

The date of the pic and aircraft registration are not important, as this would actually lend some credibility and class to this site.

Hey, at least the pic caught the tail beacon on.


Our Mission Statement. Well, sort of.

Welcome to our little corner of the web. On this site we celebrate all of the ham-fisted, ill-equipped, unprepared and totally inebriated photographers around the world attempting to get that perfect aircraft photo but jacked it up. Not that we are actually going to show you botched aircraft photos from around the world, as we don't actually have a budget. Therefore, the botched photos of aircraft (and if there actually is an aircraft in a photo is truly a miracle in itself) will primarily be from Southern California.